Double or Nothing by Cindy Steel

Author:Cindy Steel [Steel, Cindy]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2022-04-07T16:00:00+00:00

He had ripped me from his life. Cold and impersonal. We had been polite but terse toward each other. Other than the shocked words I’d spoken to him on our wedding day, every other thought and feeling had been stuffed so far down to a place only my therapist could pull out of me.

At the wedding, when I found everything out, I imagined him and Camille sneaking around his office, making out in coat closets and on top of desks (thank you, romantic comedies). But seeing them together, I guessed it wasn’t like that at all. They weren’t bad people. There had been true sorrow and guilt in Tyler’s eyes on our wedding day. They made mistakes—huge mistakes. I certainly wasn’t justifying them, but did we all have to suffer for the rest of our lives? I didn’t have to hold onto this darkness. This grudge. Even months later, when I had claimed to be over it, there was still a weight there, pulling me down even as I marched forward with my life, guns blazing.

I had been holding onto something that was no longer mine. No matter what happened to get us to this point, he wasn’t mine. Even more…I no longer wanted him. Not in the way that I had told myself for the past year, out of spite or hurt. Not in the way I talked it through with my therapist. Even after a whole year of trying to erase Tyler’s impact on my life, deep down there had been a part of me still waiting for him. Waiting for him to admit that he had made a mistake. Waiting for him to come running back to me. Holding onto him in a way that never allowed me to turn the page on a chapter that was finished.

Tyler was now a guy I used to know.

Watching Tyler and Camille stand there together, their incredulous glances back and forth, his hand on her shoulder and looking very much like a couple, had been therapeutic in a way. He wasn’t mine. They were happy together. He wasn’t going to be crawling back to me with his tail between his legs. And I was fine with that. More than fine, actually. That night had given me closure on something that had been holding me back in my life.

And that was the kind of knowledge that could set a person free.

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